My Mask
by RainyJ.T
Summary: "The secret of being a top-notch con man is being able to know what the mark wants, and how to make him think he's getting it."   Ken Kesey    100 Oneshots from the 100 theme challenge.  Humor, slash, and angst!  Rated T to be safe. Some spoilers!
1. 001 Introduction

**Hello! I know I have a couple of stories that I need, need, need to update and I'm sorry I'm taking forever! I have been very lacking in the inspiration department... I will get to them as soon as something comes to me, I swear! In the mean time, I have turned to the 100 theme challenge to keep my writing skills up to date! I will be posting them all under this as one story, so feel free to put it on alert, though it will stay marked as complete due to the fact that it isn't one continuous story.**

**I hope you have as much fun reading them as I did writing them!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own White Collar, if I did, I would move Neal's radius to involve my house. And only my house. Haha :) this applies to all future chapters, as well.**

**Now for this chapter... I know that there are a ton of hotel Neal and Peter stuff, so I'm sorry I couldn't be more original... Oh well, it was fun to write!**

**Word Count: 869**

**Read and Review, please!**

001. Introduction

Peter Burke sighed tiredly as he pushed his key card into the slot and opened the door of his motel room. It had been a long day chasing the con man Neal Caffrey, and as always he had managed to escape the trap that they had put so much thought into to catch him. He took his gun from its holster and set it on the table by the door along with his phone. He looked up, pausing halfway through his motion of taking off his suit jacket — something was off. There was another table in the center of the room adorned in a freshly ironed white table cloth. Two full wine glasses were set on either side of the table, with a takeout box in the center.

Someone had been, or still was, in his room. He turned to grab his gun from the table next to him, shocked to find that both his gun and cell phone were gone. "You know, for an FBI agent, you really aren't very observant. However, I suppose that it's expected after a long day of chasing 'The Great Neal Caffrey', right?" Peter knew that voice, he had heard it many times — on surveillance tapes, recorded phone calls, but never in person. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and sighed, attempting to delay the inevitable. Turning slowly, he saw the same man that he had spent the entire day chasing standing in the middle of his motel room with that cocky grin on his lips. Peter paled when he saw the gun that Neal held in his thieving hands. "Relax, Burke, it's not like I'm pointing it at you!"

Peter frowned. "You wouldn't shoot me, anyway." Neal had a history of being non-violent; he relied on his wit, smarts, and a fast run.

"You get that from a file?" Neal's lopsided smile fell from his face, suddenly replaced by a dark shadow in his sapphire blue eyes. An average person probably wouldn't have noticed. The look only lasted for a second at most before being replaced with another Cheshire Cat-like grin. "That's beside the point. I would think that a high class agent like you would have better taste in hotels—oh, I guess it's a motel, huh? What a shame."

Peter watched as Neal placed the gun and cell phone in his pockets and strutted towards the table in the middle of the room. He took a seat and grabbed a glass of wine, holding it to his lips for a moment before putting it back on the table. "You gonna join me or what?" he asked, his charming smile never leaving his face.

The agent knew that there was nothing that he could do, except for stall the conman and hope that one of his agents came for a late night cup of coffee or with a new lead. He cautiously took a seat across from Neal, whose face lit up with excitement. He extended a hand over the table, "we haven't formally met, you know. The name is Neal Caffrey, but you can call me Neal."

Peter shook the other's hand without a word, keeping in mind the fact that a gun could easily come into play. It was best to do what he said, he reasoned.

"What, no introduction from you?" Peter wasn't sure if that was an actual whine that he heard, or if it was just another addition to some sort of con he was pulling on the agent.

"You know my name."

"I want to hear it, come on! It'll be like starting over… minus the starting over part."

Peter sighed, "Agent Peter Burke."

Neal's face lit up again with what appeared to be an actual smile, one that reached his eyes instead of simply being used as a mask. "Now we're friends."

Peter refrained from telling the conman that they were not, in fact, friends, and would probably never _be _friends. Simply watching as Neal opened the take out box, revealing some sort of gourmet food, judging by the small portions.

oOoOoOo

They ate, Neal talking the entire way through while Peter tried to figure out a plan to get the man in custody—and failing. When both men had finished eating, Neal asked to use the bathroom. Without thinking (and as the result of a very full stomach, as he would say if he were to actually tell anyone of this event), Peter obliged.

It seemed like an eternity before Peter decided that leaving Neal out of his sight was, of course, a big mistake. He stood, sighing in frustration, and knocked on the bathroom door, just in case. When there was no answer, he entered the small bathroom, taking in the sight. His gun and cell phone were set neatly on the counter, holding down a small white envelope. The window was open, curtains flowing in the slight breeze. Neal Caffrey was long gone. He ran his fingers through his hair and opened the envelope to reveal a card with the words "thank you for a dinner among friends" written in his neat, artist's handwriting.

"We are _not _friends!" Peter growled, throwing the card and envelope in the trash.

**Thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it!**

**Please leave a review, tell me what I can do better, what I did wrong, any typos, what you liked, what you didn't like, etc! Your input means a lot to me!**


	2. 074 Are You Challenging Me?

**Okay, so this one was really fun. I know that I'm posting two in one day, but I couldn't resist! It was so fun!**

**It is just dialog, I was practicing writing a scene without descriptions, trying to make it so the reader still knows what's going on without making it sound unnatural. I hope it worked, because I was amused!**

**Tip: Try and read it like they were talking and imagine their voices. It makes me laugh, I don't know about you haha.**

**Warning: Slash, unless you have an amazing imagination...**

**Word Count: 298**

074. Are You Challenging Me?

"I am not going to say it again."

"Oh come on, please?"

"No! It was a one time thing, be happy with what you got."

"Just say it one more time, one more and I'll leave you alone."

"No."

"Please?"

"No!"

"Please, Master, please?"

"Don't _ever _say that again."

"But it's what you are! See? These are the puppy dog eyes!"

"You're only doing this to annoy me, and quit with that smile! No smiling for you."

"Aw, Peter, come on! Just say it one more time!"

"No!"

"Fine, I guess that I'm not important enough to you."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I guess you wouldn't care if I just cut my anklet right now and ran."

"Neal…"

"Don't fake caring. It doesn't work."

"Neal, wait!"

"No!"

"Neal, I mean it, get back here _right now!"_

"Are you challenging me?"

"Maybe I am."

"Is that a yes?"

"That's a come over here and find out."

"I like the sound of that."

"Neal, that's not what I-mmph! No, Neal, someone will mmf!"

"Frankly, Peter, I don't really care right now."

"Mmff—nn—Fine! Fine, I'll say it!"

"Haha, say it then."

"You… are the Great Neal Caffrey."

"What? What was that, I couldn't hear you?"

"No."

"Peter, I guess we'll have to start this all over then."

"You are the Great Neal Caffrey!"

"Thank you. I think about the entire office heard that one."

"Are you satisfied?"

"Are you _blushing, _Peter?"

"I'm taking you back to jail."

**Thank you so much for reading! Let me know if you understood the scene, it will help me out in my future writing. Please, drop a review! Tell me what I can improve on, what you liked, what you didn't like, anything. I hope that my experiment worked, haha.**

**-Edit- I changed the last line, it was more in character. Sorry for spamming your inboxes xP**


	3. 097 Safety First

**Hello again! I don't really like this one very much, but I hope that you do. I might come back to this one later and touch it up, because I'm not very happy with the result.**

**Even so, enjoy!**

**Word Count: 312**

097. Safety First

"Peter, come on. This is a nice suit! It'll get all wrinkled!" Neal whined, a rare occurrence in Peter's presence, sitting in the passenger's seat of the car.

"Neal, just put the seatbelt on. I don't want to have to peel you off of the road if we happen to get in a car accident." The agent's keys were in the ignition, waiting to be turned to start the car.

"But the great thing about the new Ford Taurus is that it does most of the driving for you!" Neal smiled, attempting to get Peter to change his mind. They were heading to an undercover operation and they had to look their best, not even an undercover conman could risk a wrinkled disguise!

"Yeah, and if I let _it_ drive you'll end up a pancake. Just put the seatbelt on." Frustration was growing between the two, but Peter wouldn't let the younger man win.

"But Peter, I have to look good!"

"Safety first."

"Oh, I see. So you would rather risk my life in a battle against a road then against a bad guy?" Neal plastered a pout on his face, something that not even Peter could resist, he knew.

Except maybe this time… "If you don't put the seat belt on right now then I'm carting you back to jail."

"Come on, Pete, you don't mean that." Neal's face was pale. That was a threat that he hadn't heard in a _very _long time.

"Oh I do, now put it on."

"But-"

"Okay, get out." Peter didn't even look at the conman, simply taking the keys out of the ignition.

"Fine, I'll do it!" Neal gave in and buckled his seatbelt. A scowl of disgust haunted his still pale features. "Jeez."

Peter's smirk could be seen from a mile away. Neal Caffrey was definitely rubbing off on him.

**Eh, if anyone has any tips as to how to make this one better, they would be greatly appreciated!**

**And please, I know that I'm just writing these for my own satisfaction, but it would make me very happy if you dropped a review. Even if it's just to say you liked it! It would mean a lot to me!**

**Also, thank you so much to unique94chick for your review!**

**Just one more thing, does anyone even read author's notes any more? Just wondering.**


	4. 008 Innocence

**I... have nothing to say about this one. Except that I had a math test today, and that might just explain some of the insanity. Haha.**

**Warnings: Hints of something mind blowing, just to keep it PG :) and slash. Yup.**

**Word Count: 520**

008. Innocence

When Neal gives Peter that oh-so-innocent smile, the latter always knows that he's up to something. Especially when there's expensive wine involved, because Neal _knows _that trying to adjust the agent's pallet is, in fact, a pointless endeavor, but he just doesn't care. It's even more suspicious when Neal gets cuddly, because Cuddly-Neal plus Innocent-Neal is never a logical equation—even when it equals something mind blowing, because Neal is _definitely _capable of that and he just _loves _to flaunt it. Even that, however, is not quite innocent in terms of the dictionary.

This time is quite different, against Peter's common sense, because Innocent-Neal plus Present-Giving-Neal minus Suspicious-Neal times the difference of Trustworthy-Neal minus Sarcastic-Neal really doesn't make any sense to Peter either. Especially when said Neal is holding out a perfectly wrapped present with a perfectly tied golden bow on the top, because honestly, could there be anything more innocent than that? As Peter opened the box, he soon discovered that there could, in fact, be something much more innocent than that. Like murderers, those were definitely more innocent. Inside of the box was a card, and on that card was absolutely nothing. Like, blank nothing. Like, Innocent-Neal plus Box plus Peter's-Birthday plus _WAY_-Too-Innocent-Neal equals Empty-Box and Smug-Neal. But Peter was never very good at math.

Peter stared at Neal, trying to find anything that would give away the clue to the something fantastic and possibly, _possibly_ something mind blowing, if Peter would give him the satisfaction that was surely hidden between the lines. But all that Neal would give away was a simple, "lemon juice". No "happy birthday", no "I love you", no "just come over here and kiss me and I might give you your birthday present", no, no, _no _because that would be _much _too much to ask, now wouldn't it? Definitely.

It didn't take too long, after Neal had retreated to the bedroom, for Peter to find the hidden message between the cardboard slats of the box that read, "Google it", which is _exactly _what he did. After that, it didn't take too long for Peter to find the hidden message on the "allegedly" empty paper that read, "Google just saved your ass."

_That's it? _Peter thought. _That's IT?_

Pissed-Peter plus Innocent-Neal equals In-Trouble-Neal plus Still-Pissed-Peter. _That_ is a very logical equation.

So the agent stormed up to the bedroom where he did not, in fact, find Neal. That made Peter even more pissed, which completely threw off his equation, which made it so that he had to add an X just to make it logical, and Peter was even _worse _at math when they threw the alphabet into it, especially when the only thing that X could possibly represent is _where the heck _is_ Neal? _

And of course as soon as Neal pops out of nowhere and just happens to greet Peter with something completely unexpected and positively _mind blowing, _Pissed-Peter wasn't so pissed anymore_._

Because Pissed-Peter plus Innocent-Neal maybe isn't really all that bad, as long as it equals that certain something mind blowing. But, that would be asking too much.

**Please review! It would make me so happy, and I know that a lot of people like these because they have it on alert. I'm doing these to make me a better writer, and I would love it if you could tell me what you liked about it, or how I can improve!**

**Thanks for reading :)**


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